Have you heard of the Law of “Fuck Yes or No?” This law applies to relationships stating that:
- When you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
- When you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
Basically both you and the other person need to be Fuck Yes about something, otherwise you’re just wasting your time. Check out Mark Mason’s website if you are interested in learning more on this law with relationships.
How can this apply to ours diets? Consider this quote:
“Perhaps the most intimate relationship each of us will ever have is not with any fellow member of our own human species. Instead it is between our bodies and our food.” –Scientific America, 2013
You will never have a more intimate relationship, not with your partner nor your child in this lifetime then you will with food. Food can be enveloped into our emotions and feelings. Food is makes up our culture. Food is a huge part of our social lives. Food breaks down into tiny chemicals and becomes you. Food affects every aspect of our wellbeing, from our mood, energy levels, thinking capacity, brain power, sports performance, sex drive, and longevity. We have over 100 trillion cells in our bodies and these cells need nutrients to thrive. If we fail to provide them with the essential nutrients we are harming ourselves rather than healing ourselves. Let’s work on creating a more positive relationship with our food.
Just as we can provide self-respect with applying the Law of “Fuck yes or No” to relationships with people, we can do the same with food. Why? Because non-needy, high self-worth people don’t have time for food they are not excited to eat. Don’t have time for food that doesn’t nourish the body, mind and soul. And certainly don’t have time for complicated food relationships.
Simply ask yourself this:
- When deciding to eat a certain food, THAT FOOD and FOOD RELATIONSHIP must inspire YOU to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed to eat it.
- When deciding to eat a certain food, THAT FOOD RELATIONSHIP must in turn respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with it.
OK, now you are probably thinking, how can a food say “Fuck yes or no” to me as a human would?
Let me translate specific human relationships you might have had to food relationships:
The Stage 5 Clinger:
Human: You are the clinger, super needy, not able to let go. You are a total “Fuck Yes” to committing to the other person. Them, a “Fuck No”. You are ready to give the relationship 100%, you are devoting your time and attention to this person, texting, calling, analyzing every move. Giving up this person feels impossible. This person is like a drug to you. Your love drug. You are high every time you are with this person. You have lost all self-control with this person. Unfortunately, the person you are clinging to is not that into you. In fact, they are keeping you strung along. Keeping you wishing, hoping. Keeping you on edge for that next love drug high.
Food: You are addicted to a certain type of food, fast food, sugar laden foods, processed foods. The food is a drug for you. You feel cravings for it. You cannot see yourself living without these types of foods. You have been devoting your time, by investing your money and eating these types of foods daily. You have lost all self-control with these foods.
Solution: It is time to practice some self-respect, and be the rejecter! By detaching yourself from the foods you crave, you will soon say “Fuck No,” too. You will then find yourself choosing much healthier foods when you let this unhealthy relationship go.
Human: You go with the flow with relationships. The other person is into you, a “Fuck Yes.” This doesn’t bother you one way or another. For some reason, whatever comes along you take it. You can feel so-so about someone, and go with it because no one better is coming along. You are mindless, uninterested in how the relationship will proceed, but continue moving forward with it because it is available to you.
Food: You go with the flow about what food goes into your mouth. For example, the staff break room has donuts and you already full, but you still eat it anyway, because it is there. You mindlessly choose certain foods, because it is easy and convienent to you. You eat in front of the TV, computer and/or with devices in front of you. You have no concern about how the food is affecting your body. You are a complacent and basically a “Fuck No” in this food relationship. The food relationship is responding back to you, “Fuck Yes.” You two are not on the same page.
Solution: Stop being so complacent with your food choices, and get excited about what you are eating. Choose foods that are nourishing to you. Be more mindful when you eat, by really tasting, and connecting to the food. Maybe you need to try a cooking class, or go to a gardening class for some inspiration. Connect with your food in a way you would want to connect with another human being.
The Booty Call:
Human: You are the booty call. You are called at late hours of the night for a fun time. You enjoy the time between the sheets, but long for something more. You two are not, “Fuck Yes” about the same relationship goal.
Food: Is your food Booty Calling you? Do you find yourself with late night binges? Do you have fun eating these foods in the moment, but are then left with feelings of longing, guilt or regret? Do you feel something is missing in this relationship? Do you long for something more? You and your food relationship are not on the same page. It seems that you are not a “Fuck Yes” in this relationship.
Solution: Give yourself stronger boundaries to follow as you would with a human relationship. You deserve better. Find out what is causing these binges. Is it a void you are trying to fill? Sit with your emotions instead of reaching for food.
Human: The person you are seeing is a complete fucking asshole, and you know it. They make you feel inferior. They undermine you. They disrespect you. They can be liars, cheaters, manipulaters, and can sometimes be abusive. You cry out, only wanting to be heard. You want from the deepest part of yourself for your partner to embrace you, connect with you, not abuse you. You want a deeper understanding and respect. This person is “Fuck No,” you are a “Fuck yes.”
Food: The food you are in a relationship does not love you back, because you do not first love yourself. You deprive yourself of food, or restrict your food, because you long from the deepest part of your soul to just be heard. You want control. Your relationship with food hurts you. It disrespects you, it lies to you, it cheats you. You don’t feel like you are enough. You cry, because you want it to embrace your whole self. What you really want is to deepin the understanding of who you really are. This food relationship a complete asshole, and it is responding as a “Fuck No.” It is time you do as well.
Solution: Stand your ground. It is time to fight for yourself. Trying to control only leads to more suffering. Discover yourself by working with a counselor on why you feel incomplete and the need for control.
“If you don’t love it, don’t eat it, and if you love it, savor it.” Evelyn Tribole
❤ Colleen Poling, RD