Chances are you have asked yourself at one point or another, “Why am I unhappy?” Then you probably go on to think about why this could be. These might be some reasons that might have crossed your mind.
- I need to live in a bigger, nicer house to be happier
- I need to have a new car to be happier
- I need a new phone or gadget to be happier
- I need to live the right location to be happier
- I need to have nicer clothes to be happier
- I need to have more money to be happier
- I need to be a certain weight to be happier
- I need to achieve a certain accomplishment to be happier
- I need to look a certain way to be happier
- I need to be with a certain person to be happier
- I need a certain job to be happier
- I want more than what I already have and then I will be happier
The list goes on and on and on…
Secret 1: Craving more is the reason why you are unhappy.
The truth is that if you don’t have enough right now to be happy, chances are nothing you will gain will make you happier. You will always want more. The real question you should be asking yourself is, “Why do I feel I need more?” This is because the only reason we want more is to achieve a certain emotional state that we are not in at this very moment. What is really missing? What void is not being filled? Find out how to fill this void in a more healthy way. Maybe that means talking with a friend or counselor.
Secret 2: Realize that what you have now is enough.
You probably don’t need more. Think about what you really need to live and stop buying non-essentials. Do you really need the latest technology, name brand clothing, a fancy car or big house? Living green and sustainably, creating, singing, walking, doing, running, moving, or talking with a friend will make us much more happier than material items. Less is more. Living minimally will give you more time, less stress, less worry, give you room for what’s important, and ultimately help you become healthier. “The secret to happiness, you see, is not seeking more, but developing the capacity to enjoy less.” -Socrates
Secret 3: Make the every moment count.
Every interaction you have throughout the day means something. Even the smallest, or most routine moments in life are worth cherishing. Moments you share with others are what you will remember on your deathbed, and how people will remember you. You will not be defined by how you looked, what you owned, where you lived, but how you lived your life and how you treated people. Knowing this will help you realize that by giving to others, you are actually giving to yourself.
Secret 4: Meditate.
This does not mean sitting down and thinking about nothing. It really is the opposite of this. Meditation is bringing your awareness back to you, and away from the world. Taking only 5 minutes each morning, midday or evening will lower stress levels, help you focus on what is really important, and help you enjoy life in the current moment. Check out apps like headspace or YouTube videos for guided meditations that will bring you clarity and calmness.
Secret 5: Detach Yourself.
Stop attaching yourself to wanting a person, place, thing or idea. Gripping on to what you do not have only creates more stress and emotional turmoil. Stop trying to grasp on. Stop trying to control things. Letting go means letting happiness in. “You only lose what you cling to” Buddha
Secret 6: To understand what will be enough for you, you need to define your dreams and get VERY specific about what you want.
Start out by writing down what it is you want. Next write down why you think you want this person, place, thing, idea or accomplishment. Write down exactly how you will obtain it. How much money will it take, how much time will it take, what will it take out of you to get it. What will you lose? What will you gain? Is it truly worth your time to obtain? Weigh the pros and cons. Getting specific, and detailed about obtaining what you want might help you realize that you didn’t really want it after all.
Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; love more and all good things will be yours. –Swedish proverb
❤ Colleen Poling, RD